Sunday, October 24, 2010

This Is Funny To Me...

The New York Yankees got beaten in the AL playoffs by the Texas Rangers. I'm enjoying this for two reasons. One, the Rangers have never been in a World Series before, and I always like it when any team gets into one for the first time. And nine teams have done this in my own lifetime: the Mets, the Royals, the Brewers (this one I remember -- I don't remember the times the Mets or the Royals did it), the Padres, the Blue Jays, the Marlins, the Diamondbacks, the Rockies, and the Devil Rays. The Rangers will make it a nice and even ten.

And the other reason I'm enjoying this is much more primal: I'm a lifelong Red Sox fan. That right there tells you everything you need to know about what I think of the Yankees. Basically, I'm just sadistic enough to love it when someone rubs salt in their wounds:



...Before I first moved to New York, I hadn't fully understood what sad, wretched front-runners the legions of Yankees fans really are. I always knew they were awful people, the most obnoxious fans in sports, but I hadn't grasped how weak-hearted they were. When the Yankees lose, there is no defiance, no residual pride, no we-want-a-rematch resolve. (The closest the Yankees come to that is their annual scheming to hire anyone who beats them.) People root for the Yankees because they want to identify with a winner—not just a winner, but the winner—and when the Yankees are losers, it blows a hole in their identity. They didn't sign up for this to root for a loser...


Not only is every word of that true, it applies to Yankees fans who don't even live in or anywhere reasonably near New York. Back in 2001, when I was just an assistant at the print shop, I was paired up with an operator who was born and raised in Virginia, but happened to be a Yankees fan. When he found out my team was the Red Sox... well, it's not like I need to tell you what he commenced doing, is it?

What I will say is that he immediately stopped badgering me after the Red Sox came back from a 0-3 record in the 2004 AL playoffs to beat the Yankees, then go on to win four games in a row in the World Series for their first championship in 86 years. For the next five years, this guy kept his trap shut. Then the Yankees won the World Series last year. First words out of his fucking mouth the very next time he saw me: "How about them Yankees?!"

Well, this year, they wound up suckin' dick, buddy. That's how about them.

And that's it, I've had it with this guy. The next time he sees me, I'll be wearing a Rangers cap. Any team who beats the Yankees to get to the World Series -- especially after New York spent a quarter of a billion dollars to get into it and FAILED (AHH, HA HA HA HA!) -- is my favorite team for the next two weeks.

And knowing this Virginia fair-weather Yankee fan, he ain't gonna like it. Like all Yankees fans, he can dish it out, but he cannot take it...

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